Friday, January 1, 2010

Simple Beginnings

A few months ago, a friend of mine was telling me about something new she was about to do. She was about to take voice lessons. Being a music lover and a former student of voice lessons myself, I was excited for her. But it was curious. What sparked an interest in voice lessons for this forty-year-old wife and mother of three? “I wanted to try something new that I wasn’t sure if I’d be good at,” she responded. “I’m always encouraging the kids to try something new, try their best and see if they like it or not and I’ve come to realize that I have seldom challenged myself in that way. Everything I do, I know I’m good at and I thought it would be good for me to try something that I might feel a little clumsy at.”

Now, I love my friend dearly, but I can’t relate in the slightest bit to her experience. I feel like most things that I do in life, grad school, my job, being a wife, daughter, sister, friend, and all the things that are expected of me in those areas all make me feel clumsy. I often feel as though my attempts in those areas are, as my mom would say, “half-fast”. I seldom feel as though I’m in my element.

When you are constantly doing things you don’t feel gifted in, it sucks the life out of you. I often feel rushed, tired, defeated, frustrated, and a steady feeling of failing everyone in my life. Throughout all of these crummy feelings, I have longed for a simpler life. A life not cluttered with meetings, and deadlines, and criticisms. A life that involves family, friends, neighbors, cooking, gardening, knitting and other things the world might consider mundane. Again, I run the risk of not being sure if I really am good at any of this, but at least I know I can enjoy them in the meantime.

This blog is about my journey to a simpler life. Anyone care to join me on the road?